Full Moon In Scorpio Has a Bleeding Heart

Today, the moon waxed into her full brightness in all that Scorpionic shimmery luminosity at 23* at 2:18PM EDT.  First, she glided up to Saturn/El (Lord of the Rings) as he in reverse sided up to her when they met at his 19* of Scorpio.  Like waves cresting they rise up together lifting up the heavy weight of the emotional ballast capsizing the less sea-worthy.

The sun almost feels jealous of the two, sitting in all the wealth and possessions of his Taurean lair, drenched in the decadent trappings of his Venusian dream.

You might ask yourself, if you miss what you don’t have, simply because it isn’t there to have and to hold.  If that one more thing, might just bring the happy ship toward you before it departs for the deeper waters of Scorpio’s abyss.

If you have a cleaner spirit, than you don’t miss what you don’t have, simply because you are enamored with all you do.  You take stock of the wealth around you, knowing it came from within.

Ahh, the pearly gates.  They beckon us towards a shiny, happy people.

But that somber tone from the Lord of the Rings, has laLuna bound and gagged as she drowns in like a tempest in a tea cup.

The Cardinal Cross is moving into a T-Square that still has plenty of tension, as we wait for what seems like the other shoe to drop.

Jupiter/Zeus is moving forward and he isn’t about to look back, and he is taking no prisoners, as those who have decided to use an exit strategy, drift away like sail boats into the horizon, leaving the rest of us to fill up with the moon, and fall into that sorrowful longing, knowing each day will bring a reminder of what we had, and what we will now miss.

I lost two sisters already to the horrid disease that has ravaged far too many, and whose name I will not dignify with a capital c.

I look at their pictures, and see them drifting away, imagine the horrible pain that sat inside their chest as they were eaten alive, far too young.

In a retreat space in New York, the birds were singing, leaves greening around us and sunlight shaking

sparkly showers through the branches; I sat with about a hundred people or so, who had all made our way down the path to the clearing with the rows of benches we now found ourselves gathered together upon.  We were expecting a seminar to take place, and enough of us had made the mistake of believing it was to happen shortly.

As the time ticked on, we started to look around and realize, we might not be experiencing any such thing.  So many disappointed heads, turned downward and expressions that matched.

One of the people in the group I was with, said, ‘Glo, get up and sing a song’.  When others heard this, they turned and started the chorus of appeals for me to sing.

I accommodated and stood up and sand a couple of songs A cappella, to a rounding and raucous bout of applause and appreciation.

Afterwards, a somewhat distinguished looking woman approached me and told me how surprised she was at how good I was.  “It was as if you were channeling another life” she told me.  I stated that perhaps it was me tapping into my journey beyond this world, when I died so many years ago and returned.

She told me that her father told her, that once you go, that is it, no memories and people all forget about you.  I was shocked.  Dumbstruck really, that someone would say something even remotely like this, let alone repeat it as if it was now fact.

I have been visited by all the people that I love who have crossed over, in dreamtime and in the waking state.  They have all helped me in some form or another and let me know they are still with me.

But with all of that, I still miss them all in the physical world.  My sister Barb will never drive up in her silver car and I will never hear her laugh as if she has stopped breathing….because she did take her final breath.  Even though I was with her, as was my entire family to help her cross over, and I am grateful that we know how to take someone to the River Styx and wave goodbye as they are welcomed into death’s loving embrace; I still miss her.

I still miss my sister Kathy’s sweetness, that caring person who would drop by out of the blue with some odd gift, all of which I still have, because she couldn’t help herself.  She thought of me and wanted to share something.  But, I am achingly glad that the pain of her world has ended, and that she has found comfort.  But my heart still aches like a lead balloon that I will never be able to swallow.

We all know our parents will go, hopefully for their sakes; they go before their child, which was not the case with my father, who had to outlive his oldest girl.  I will always be able to see his eyes, looking right to my soul every single time, and finding a way to warm me up and make me feel as though I was so special, that his life depended on what I had to do in this world.  Of course, he had that effect on a lot of people.  But that doesn’t change the warmth and charm of his Leonine wit, smile and love.

And I won’t ever be able to replace, my dear friend Marcella/Esmeralda, who was my go to person to confide in and ask for advice.  Always delivered with assurance and a healthy dose of unthinkable humour, she could bounce a thought off the wall quicker than bullet, and it always went straight to the heart too.

This month, my good friend Robin saw her father off to the other side, I am glad I got to enjoy his boyish flirtations, and hope he found the youth he seemed to believe he still had in our exchanges.

The list is long, it gets longer as I get older, and I cannot go through all the souls my life has been blessed with, who have gone on…ships into the sunset.

Their sales grow smaller and smaller, until at last, the good sweet earth parts her skirts and takes them in, the sweetness wafting around you like a parting bouquet.

These squares, crosses and blood moon eclipses will bring down the elevator, and many will get on to take that final ride.

This full moon, isn’t quite so lusty as a Scorpio Full Moon can be, not with the leaden weight of Saturn/El making sure that she never forgets, time waits for no one.
You can lift those spirits with ArcAncient's Sensual Healing or help take down the swelling with WiseWoman Roll on.  For those tricky conversations, make sure you anoint the throat chakra and wrists, and/or diffuse with Communications.  see: www.arcancient.com