Tripping The Light Fantastic, My Near-Death Experience

When I was a senior in high school, I began to get terrible, migraine headaches.

My head would grow so heavy, I had to lay it on the desk, just so my head would not fall and hit the desk on its own. So, so, heavy.

My straight A’s had already suffered, B’s and now a C.  (I scored in the top 1% in the country in engineering and the top 3% in math, so yes, I was failing myself and my family). (You'll soon understand, why I am explaining how a young mind can create 'distress' and feel 'guilt' beyond what they may display.  We must always pay attention to what children are doing and thinking.)  

I began to feel so guilty.  So guilty for not applying myself and making my parents proud.  It was so easy for me, and yet…like so many other children at that age, it was more important to try and fit in and I was never…’normal’, so the task was daunting. 

It started me down a road, that forever changed my life…

At the time, I worked downtown at Halle’s Department store.  (I loved it!)

My body started to have these mysterious ‘aches’, which I just chalked up to menstrual issues.  Then my legs would ache, and my feet started swelling up, my ankles would become so sore, I just had to take my shoes off!  (Yes, I wore high heels, every, single, day.)  It would feel so good, to put the soles of my feet on a cold surface.  My whole body began to swell.

It just got too hard to move my body any more than absolutely necessary, so I finally told my mother I would like to stay home from school/work, because I was not feeling well.

My parents both worked hard, long hour, days at the store they owned.

I often would only see my mother, maybe if she poked her head in my door before bed to say goodnight. 

So, I could hide under the covers, and she couldn’t see me.  She didn’t turn the light on, because it hurt my eyes.

One day turned into two, then three and my mother would peek in and ask me how I felt and if I needed her to bring me anything.  A ginger ale, soup, crackers maybe?  Well, by maybe the 4^th day, I was home sick again, and there was a knock at the back door.

I had to get up and look out the back porch window on the 2^nd floor, to see my friend, Denise standing at the door.

A dilemma!  She wasn’t going away.

I put my robe on, tried to arrange my hair even just a bit and made my way downstairs to the back door and let in, Denise.

Her eyes about popped out of her head when she saw me, mouth dropped open and she asked: “Gloria, oh my god, what is wrong with you?”

At this point, I was really swollen, my joints were especially swollen and now turning greenish, reddish, purple.  The whites of my swollen eyes, if you could see them, were now a deep, yellow green.

“What does your mother say?” she asked. 

I responded: “She really hasn’t seen me; I keep hiding under the covers.”

“Well, I am calling her right now!!!” Denise cried.

“No!!! We are not going to bug her at work!  I will tell her when she gets home, I promise.” I said.

Then, with tears in her eyes, she said: “Glo, you HAVE TO TELL HER, PROMISE ME, YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE DOCTOR!!!”

That night just after dusk, when my mother came home from work, she came into my room.  I had been ruminating and fretting all day over having to tell my poor mother, that her daughter got herself sick and she will have to take me to the doctor’s even though she must be so very exhausted.  I just felt incredibly guilty and just too much trouble.  (Yes, the thoughts of a teenager).

I worried I caught some sexually transmitted disease or was pregnant, because I gave in and had sex with my ‘then’ boyfriend.  The guilt was crippling.
Even now, unexpected tears are flowing from the painful memory.

I muster up the strength to tell her maybe I need to go to the hospital.

She agrees and takes me to the emergency room.

Before we exit the car, I take a breath in and tell her she is going to be upset with me, and I am sorry, but I had sex, so this can be related to that.

She puts her head back and closes her eyes.  I know, it is all too much for her to bear and my guilt swells like my body.

I struggle into the emergency room, they quickly escort me to a room, and I sit on the examining table.

A short, mustached, doctor soon comes walking in and begins to examine me.  I tell him I am just so tired; I cannot stay awake.

He gives me a shot of adrenaline and has some bloodwork drawn.

He leaves me, I lie down, and he returns shortly afterward, how long?  I have no idea, I was O U T.

He wakes me up and asks me if I feel any better.  I respond that I still feel very tired.  He gives me another shot of adrenaline.  He leaves me and I lay back down and fall asleep.

When he returns for the third time, I managed to wrestle myself up a bit.

Now, I am feeling concern over my poor, tired, mother waiting for me all this time.  I tell him, I think I am starting to feel better.  He gives me another shot of adrenaline.

He escorts me to the waiting room, where my mother’s concern meets us immediately.  He sends us home and says they are doing tests.  My mother and the doctor discuss ‘options’, just in case.

It is a long, strained, ride home, with both of us in a flurry of emotions.

When we get home, my mother tells me she is drawing me a bath.  “I think we need to give you a nice bath”. She tells me.

I consent.  Once she has the bath drawn, (I am keeping my head down, so she doesn’t really see me yet).  She leaves the bathroom and I proceed to remove my clothes; every single movement feels like needles under my skin.  My bones feel as though they are just going to break off.  I gingerly slip into the comforting warm waters of the bath.

The door opens and my mother is poking her head in now, and at this point, she finally sees my body.

“Oh my god!  Did that doctor see your body!  We’re going right back to the hospital; he should have never let you go home!”  She runs down the steps to the kitchen and I can hear her screaming at the doctor, on the phone.  “Why did you send my daughter home, can’t you see how sick she is!  We’re coming right back.”
And so, she helped me get dressed and put me back in her car and sped back to the hospital.  I don’t remember much after that, until I woke up, my mother at my bedside, laying on my arm, holding me.

What happened in between this, was my first foray 'all the way' across worlds and in between to the other side. There was no 'tunnel of light' that I recall traveling through.  No one greeted me when I crossed over, though I don't know that I woudld know them if they did?

There…

…I woke myself up with my own incessant prayers and the loud mumblings of everyone else in this Great Stone Cathedral.  We were all praying.

It was all in the same language.

But it wasn’t English. 

The closest I can come to giving it some sort of label, is a mixture of the Latin I took, combined with other languages, and mixed into ONE GREAT LANGUAGE.

THE LANGUAGE.

I have never been inside of anything so large, the expanse went on forever, stadia climbing endlessly.  And everyone, every single person in that room, was in prayer robes/shawls and praying, asking for forgiveness from the one Being of Light in the center.

Without using my earthly eyes, I could see (through the top of my head, which I now know is the Pineal gland, chakra) one large figure of light in a stone-like chair with two smaller beings of light on each side, and all around this oval shaped ‘court’, were yet, smaller beings of light/angels all in constant praise and the glory radiating from them was an elixir all by itself.  (All these 'beings of light' were larger than human forms, though I cannot tell you I recall 'them having a body'). They knew they had reached the highest and most cherished position possible, to be in constant adoration of the ONE.  GOD.
I was in a life-review, asking for forgiveness over and over and over in this language.

This vast expanse felt ‘ancient’ and ‘familiar’ at the same time.  That Golden Light being emitted, automatically connected to everything and each other and the internal lights that exist everywhere, hidden in this world to most.

I was about 50’ or so from this wonderfully loving being, that only my HEART was keeping a secret vigil, missing this love of my life.  (It is the love of everyone’s life)

Suddenly, it was as if it was ‘my turn’.

The Being in the Center, connected to me and I was pulled into this warm bath of love.  I was ‘floating’ in heavenly repose while every cell in my body, was enveloped and told this Great Being LOVED EVERY SINGLE CELL OF MY BODY.  This radiant golden light swam inside and all around me, lighting ITSELF up.  The most ‘heavenly’ music, serenading and creating as it played.
Everyone and everything, is in this state of ‘KNOWING’.  KNOWING THE SECRET OF THE AGES…

I was cleansed anew. In the SYMPHONIC LIGHT OF GOD.

Then, I was walking in a Garden with Jesus.  (It happens in beyond a split-second, so this is the best I can describe this right now.)
Whatever I wanted would just magically appear, transforming right in front of me and everything was all ‘lit up on the inside’.  Literally, fountains of light streaming everywhere and colours that don’t exist here in this earthly dimension…yet.

Beautiful golden, ornate fountains, people dressed up in the finest silks and linens, children and animals playing, everyone in blissful happiness.

We were what I call: “Float-walking”, but I don’t have a recollection of whether I was using legs or if I even had a body.  I look over to my right where, Jesus is walking with me and I see across the street, a row of buildings and a line of people streaming into one of them, the line stretching all the way down the street.  I recognize some of them and ask to go over and see what is going on.

He says: ‘You want to go over there?’…” Yes”, I respond, “I know some of these people, I think I am supposed to be there.”  Part of me, didn’t want to ‘miss out’ on whatever was happening.

So, we float-walked over and went up the steps leading into the white building.

As we made our way inside (floating on the top of the ceiling) the people are closer and closer to my own inner circle, then cousins, close friends and in this side room, again on the right, my family is sitting in chairs.  My nephew, Jeff, is asking his mother (my oldest sister, Barbara) to explain to him, what is going on?

My sister just looks down at him and shakes her head, she has no words.

No words?  She always has the answers! 

Now, I see my mom, crying, in such torment and despair, I can’t take it.

What is wrong with everyone?

Now, we float back into the wide hallway, and I look down the hall and see a coffin.  With a feeling of dread, I float over and see ME!

I am laying in this coffin, and I recoil instantly back to Jesus.  I yell, “You have to get me back down there!  They can’t handle this!” 

Jesus asks me: “You want to go back?  Are you sure?” 
I both feel the weight of what my response will be, the pull to stay in this Garden with God where my pain is non-existent or go back and be with the ones I love on earth.  “I need to go back”. 

All of that happens in a millisecond. 

I open my heavy eyes, to see my mother, laying on my right arm.

Happy Days is on TV.  (That is another sign from the universe.)

I tell my mother, not to worry, I was just with Jesus, and He says I am going to be okay.

My mother looks up and responds: “God love you, even now you are trying to make me feel better.”

I lost consciousness again, and didn’t regain consciousness, until the sound of the priest praying over me, brought me back to this world again.  With him, were two nuns, also praying. 

I could see them, ‘with my other eyesight’ I just used.

But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t make my eyes open.

They wouldn’t budge.

I tried to move a finger, a toe, anything.

Nothing.

At the foot of my bed, straddling the doorway, a doctor was trying to explain to my terribly distraught mother that she needed to come to terms with my passing, I cannot come back from this, and she has to think about arrangements!  They are going to give me my Last Rites.

What? 

I am on the ceiling, trying to reach down and shake my mother’s shoulders, but she does not see me.  I am here!  I am screaming from the other side, only I cannot get one single cell in my body to move.  My sister Bev is standing with the doctor and my mother, and I learn later, that she is not accepting what the doctor is saying.  Always ready to fight the good fight.  I love the Irish.

With all the futile attempts at getting anyone’s attention from the air, I jump back into my body, laying like an inanimate object on the bed.

I plead with Jesus and the angel’s, please, you have to let me back!  Over and over I kept repeating: "No judging, no judging, no judging".

I push and push and push, until finally I get one of my eyes to open.

The alarmed priest, now wide-eyed, steps back and the nuns do too.

He asks me about ‘mass’ and I finally make these words come out of my mouth: “I don’t think I can make it to church” …

There were tubes coming out of my nose, my mouth and stomach, with this green liquid pouring out of them into containers at the side of the bed.

I began to wretch and trying to hold my stomach together at the same time, since I awoke with a 12” railroad of stitches from just between my breasts to the top of my right hip.  There was a bit of panic, people trying to act calm, while I was held together, and EVERYTHING WAS COMING OUT OF ME AT THE SAME TIME.
A couple weeks back, when my head hurt so bad, my appendix had ruptured, and the poison was coursing all through my body. 

But I was back… 

Next time, I will share what happened, when I went out the second time…

For now, I just felt it was important to share MY TRUTH.

The TRUTH IS HEAVEN IS REAL, GOD IS REAL, ANGELS ARE REAL AND WE ARE WAY MORE THAN OUR CORPORAL BODY, ALL OF US.

As we head into another year of surprises, I want people to know we have eternal, living spirits, that are rivers of the same SOURCE all life flows from.  Those we love, never, ever, leave us.  Say hello.

They are here to help.  Ask them ...  

I need to add some very important information: during this time while I was in the hospital there were people praying, they were saying masses, they were lighting candles,

And then there is the will to live... there was so much love I believe it had a lot to do with lifting me and bringing me back.

I would add, that one of the thoughts that kept repeating in my head: 'No judging, no judging, no judging'.  We are all living in the God-mind.  EL-e-Ments. on sensory planet earth.  EARTHEARTHEARTH HEARTHEARTHEART

I also want to make sure to add that many people were praying for me, many people were pulling for me, there were masses being said in my name and candles being lit.  All of it matters, and the GRACE OF GOD.