Spirit Sent Me...A Real Turtle Rock

I have many mystical experiences, including my own death at the age of 17, experiencing heaven, the fusing of G-d's love and light into my being as ONE, walking around with Jesus (float walking) and asking to come back.

During my divorce, I chose to live in a barn without running water, etc. To find out who I really am, what do I really believe and why.  I was also going through a financial dis-empowerment that I never experienced before.

I started to question everything, and was worried I was disappointing G-d, feeling I may have 'failed' at my commitment...to help my husband enough to make the marriage work and diffuse his overwhelming anger.  I tried to kiss and love all that pain that was buried inside of him away.  I was not in the war, I did not serve.  Was my service to help him heal?  For nine years I tried.  I wrote notes to G-d, prayers asking for help.    (One night this culminated in an awful experience, I just cannot share at this time, so please accept my apologies.)

Anyway, at that point, I lost my eternal optimism. I felt I failed my husband and the commitment I made to G-d ~ all of it.

So I was on the cement floor, sobbing, asking, and literally pleading with G-d to show me a sign ~ show me that I was doing the right thing.  Here I was with rocks talking to me, laying all around me in a circle, I had gathered feathers, crystals, and other various items on my walks following an inner voice that lead me around the island.  I thought to myself, yes...maybe I am losing my mind.

A knock came at the door of the barn.  I was a bit startled. Did I actually hear that? Why and who would be at my door? Should I be afraid?  I am alone and there is no one around here.

I went to the door and opened it....

There stood a native American Indian......he told me: “Spirit sent him to me”.....

I replied that I wasn't in a good place, that I had been crying, in case he was picking up on my energy (as I would have) so he would know that yes, I was out of sorts.

He replied with a bow and said: “You have already honoured me by telling me the truth”...very good.

I asked him if he would like to come into my barn, though I have nothing to offer.

He said yes, he came in and saw all the rocks, feathers, crystals, etc., I was gathering, we sat on the floor and he would ask me what they were 'saying to me'. I showed him some of the songs I was writing, and that I was starting to write a fairy tale about a little girl who wakes up inside a dream talking to animals.

He told me he wanted me to come to 'Sweat Lodge' that evening, and that tomorrow he wanted to

start to take me to the sacred places on the island, and that spirit had sent him to me, because he was supposed to show me these things.

Before he left, I wanted to give him something, but really had nothing to offer, save for a cigarette, since I still smoked at the time.  I offered him one and he bowed and said: “Now you have honoured me a second time.  It is tradition, to give tobacco as a gift.”

Here now, I will share another example of the magic that awaits us, if we simply pay attention.

Indian Bob and I took many hikes together.  As we walked the many different parts of the island, he would tell me the sacred stories that were connected to each particular area.

One day, while walking with Bob, the two of us cut a path in the crystalline amber stretch along the waters of the great lake on the ‘Emerald Island’ as Bob informs me of the mission he was told I am there to fulfill.

“You have been called to the island, to tell the story of the ‘Rock Tribe’ by ‘Clam digger Woman’, yes you will tell the story of the stone people who have been keepers of the sacred stories, throughout all of time.”

As he tells me this, I look down and see what looks like a clam, but slightly different.  I reach down and pick it up, rinsing off the sand in the cool waters of Lake Erie, it glistens in the sun and as the striations of grays and browns, reveal what is a stone that seems to be a petrified clam!  Immediately after, I find another rock, reach down and pick it up and it looks just like a turtle.  With that, and eagle screeches as it divides the azure skies not but 15 feet above us, coming what seems to be so close I almost thought I should duck my head.

Bob just looks at me with a look that seemed more dazzled and shocked than I was, and says to me: “They don’t usually fly that close, he is watching out for you and that was another sign that what I am saying is true.” 

We hiked up onto one of the many huge limestone rocks piled along the shore and sat down for the sunset show to blaze fire along the stretching blues running into each other in the horizon and meeting in the distance.  As he began his descent, two crescent rainbows arched into one another and again we looked at each other as we hummed in awe at the treat we had been given that day with each other.

That eagle watched me the entire time I was on the island healing and writing....if I called him...he came.....it was quite magical during an otherwise difficult time.

For some reason, I am always given the most wondrous magical times and love, even in my darkest hour.  Always angels show up to save me, guide me....real amazingly mystical times have I have lived.

The universe was speaking so loudly to me that day, loud enough for me to carry the message to this page to share with you right now.  It has been a long time coming home.

I feel each of us has a key, a sacred truth that is buried within us, to share and help each other wake up.  If we weave these stories together, we will see a much bigger picture that as individuals, are occluded enough to keep us wading through the darkness.

I apologize, for taking so long to have the guts to begin to share these stories, I have carried for so long.  Each word, is like emptying a sack of stones, to make my walk and journey lighter.

I hope it helps to act as a key, much like Chiron is the key to the astrology chart, as I was told mystically after taking a retreat with Barbara Hand Clow, and she explained that it was the ‘rainbow’ bridge.  Once I looked at the symbol (which is always a font of information) it was unmistakable.

Since Chiron pierces the veil, between Saturn and Uranus, I thought of it as ‘Parsifal’, who perceives the all…by piercing the veil.  I have taught this many times in classes in the years that followed, and shared many times on social media and with friends and clients as I read for them, or was simply sharing what was fondly coined: ‘a Gloriaism’ by one of my students.

The wounded healer, which I am quite visibly now, having a long doorway, that runs from just below my breast to the top of my thigh and across to the other.  Yes, I have been ‘in through the out-door’ and returned.  I know this, all life first comes through the wounding, even the ovum, must be ‘wounded’ by the sperm, to be impregnated.

My walking out and back into this world when I died?  That is another story, and another chapter.

Written in 1995